From isolation to connection: How seniors find community

by Sophia Raad

Mary Schaull’s world fell silent the day she lost her husband to leukemia. The laughter they shared, the comfort of routines built together, the quiet understanding of a life lived side by side—all of it vanished.

Then COVID-19 swept through her community, claiming more friends, more familiar faces. Days stretched long, and the phone rang less.

Mary found volunteering to fill her time after a recruiter visited her retirement home, Frankie's Seaside.

“They told me it was a good way to make friends,” Mary recalls. “So I signed up, and I’ve been volunteering there ever since, because friends are so important.”

Mary’s experience is far from unique. Countless seniors have been navigating isolation, compounded by lingering effects of the pandemic, loss of loved ones, added health challenges from aging, and having family members scattered across the country.

But amid these challenges, seniors like Mary are finding ways to rebuild their routines and communities.

Finding community again

Her work at the hospital is just one facet of Mary’s active lifestyle. At Frankie’s Seaside, Mary leads a weekly group called Brain Games, where neighbors laugh, challenge each other with riddles, and share stories.

On Saturdays, she plays cards with a few widowed friends, sharing old memories and new jokes.

Through these activities, seniors emphasize resilience. “I always look on the bright side,” says Mary.

She sees how every shared laugh or story is a victory. After a Brain Games session, she loves hearing neighbors say, “Wow, I feel so much better today.”

In a broader crisis of connection, Mary and others have discovered that purpose and community can help rebuild their worlds.

Volunteering offered Mary a new reason to get up each morning. Soon after the COVID-19 pandemic, she began assisting patients at a hospital's mammography unit. “I feel needed… it gives me a purpose,” she says. The nurses at Roper St. Francis Mount Pleasant Hospital call her enthusiasm infectious.

College of Charleston psychology professor and director of the Mindfulness Initiative and Peace Initiative, Dr. Swickert, offers a reminder that underscores Jimmy’s approach: “Actively seek and maintain meaningful social interactions, whether through volunteering, joining groups, or nurturing existing relationships.”

“The Glue” of the neighborhood

Jimmy Bailey, a retired community volunteer, echoes that sentiment. 

“People say I’m the glue,” he laughs, describing how he helps run senior programs, attends classes, and makes time for younger family members. 

Both Mary and Jimmy found that helping others naturally led to friendships. 

Jimmy spends his Friday nights at the local pub, bringing old neighbors together over burgers and beer. 

During our interview, at least three different friends stopped by to say hello, a glimpse into how integrated he is in his community. 

“Running into neighbors at the bar or grocery store — people I’ve known for years — keeps life rich,” Jimmy said

A family at the Senior Center

That same sense of connection shows up at the Waring Senior Center, where coordinator Ron White notes that the goal is creating a “family atmosphere.” Quiet newcomers often blossom once they feel heard. “Just being able to listen to somebody… that means the world,” he says.

This kind of casual fellowship meets deep emotional needs. For someone who has lost a spouse, “saying the right thing can save somebody’s life,” Ron notes. In one instance, he helped a grieving widow find hope again by simply listening and showing care.

These transformations mirror broader research showing that social disconnection is a serious health crisis.

For Jimmy and Mary, weekly classes, puzzles, and volunteer tasks are highlights of the week, giving structure, intellectual challenge, and plenty of new people to meet. 

“The more people I meet, the better it is,” Mary advises.

Staying active and engaged

Physical activity is another shared strategy. Mary still walks three to five miles daily, often at a brisk pace that leaves others behind. She also plays golf croquet with friends. 

“It’s so important to be active, to stay socialized,” she laughs. 

Jimmy schedules outings and exercises as well. He even persuaded his grandsons to take up golf.

Jimmy sums it up with a grin: “You cannot play football forever, but you can golf all you want.” 

Ron carries that idea further, emphasizing how movement shapes the way people age.

“When you stop doing things, you go downhill faster,” he says. “If you get up and do something every day, you can keep the pain away.”

Whether through a walking club, yoga class, or a neighborhood stroll, group exercise provides seniors with an opportunity to socialize with friends and meet new people.

As Jimmy notes, having something scheduled— Ron's classes three times a week and golf on Mondays and Thursdays—keeps life moving forward. 

Connection as medicine

That love of connection extends beyond the neighborhood. Jimmy’s granddaughter is studying abroad, cherishes late-night chats and picking up his grandsons from school whenever possible. 

Psychologists note that intergenerational ties benefit both sides. Older adults with friends or family at least a decade younger often feel more youthful and satisfied with aging 

“Friendship is more about sharing our gifts and learning from one another,” Jimmy says.

At the Warring Senior Center, “Every day is a great day around here,” Ron says. He watches quietly as someone lightens up over coffee or finds a friend at a dance—little triumphs against loneliness. 

Not every senior finds it easy to join the crowd. Physical and sensory challenges can block the door. 

“My mother is 92 and hard of hearing,” says senior-center director Aleshia Parrish. “It’s awkward for her in big groups.” 

Aleshia recalls gently coaxing a new member: “I told him, ‘Just come in and read the paper with a coffee.’ After a few visits, he began talking to others.” 

Gradual, supportive outreach—whether a phone call or home visit can help. Simply making activities inviting and accessible, offering rides and patience can help bridge the gap.

Health experts emphasize that social connection is as vital as diet or exercise for longevity. Social support acts as a buffer to stress. 

As psychologist Jeremy Nobel puts it, loneliness is a biological signal that “we need human connection, just like thirst is a signal we need water” 

Even brief social routines—weekly calls, shared walks, swapping recipes—can set in motion a cycle of support. Social engagement is, in effect, medicine.

Choosing connection again

For Mary, the road back to companionship began with a simple decision to step outside her door. 

Now, each mile she walks, each game night she hosts, and each stranger she introduces over coffee reinforces that her life is still rich and full. 

“It takes courage to reach out, but those efforts pay off,” says Dr. Swickert. “Practicing mindfulness, gratitude, and empathy in everyday life can strengthen social connections and support emotional well-being.”

Through volunteering, learning, and simply showing up, Mary and Jimmy demonstrate that resilience and joy are found in the company of others.

“What I see in our members is their quality of life is much greater. And a lot of it, I think, is because they've stayed socially connected with other individuals their own age,” said Aleshia.

Mary and Jimmy don’t dwell on loneliness; they outrun it with conversations, classes, and every hand of cards.

“Some days I still feel lonely,” Mary admits, “but when I’m here, I remember I’m not alone.”